No awkward lesbian experiences without me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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