I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
