he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
