i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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