it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
