Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
