i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
