This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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