He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
