I'm really into asian looking animals
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize