Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
