We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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