well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
