wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
