I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
