I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
