Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
