You just made me feel so damn special
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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