I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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