i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
too bad you live with your parents still
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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