If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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