last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ketchup is God's man juice
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
