i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
