Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
