HIV tests are more positive than that guy
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
