Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you would pick up someone in the library
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
