I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
