At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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