i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize