please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
