that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
