you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
