I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
