you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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