I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
