I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Green mimosas i think yes
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
