I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
