Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
