I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
