mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
