Nicole vs. Life
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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