I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize