yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
