So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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