the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
