Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
