Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
