...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
