How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize