I'm lost and stupid without you.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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