Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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