if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
