I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
