Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
