Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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