even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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