Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
