You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
